I’m fourteen weeks pregnant with my second child—my son is 19 months old. Absolutely excited of course; at the same time a bit bummed as my husband and I had just got our sex life back into a good place and now it will be, once again, erratic for the next two years.

My first pregnancy came after ten miscarriages. As such for the first semester I was considered a high risk pregnancy and we weren’t allowed to have sex. More so, I was so completely freaked out about the baby ‘sticking’ that sex was the last thing my mind.

Once or twice I remember thinking, “Who would want to have sex while going through all of this morning sickness, first trimester crap?”; grateful sex wasn’t allowed.

Then it became clear during the second and third trimester that ours was a very normal pregnancy and that we could resume sexual relations. Intellectually my husband and I understood that intercourse would absolutely not affect the fetus. Emotionally though—and emotion wins over logic every single time—my husband just didn’t feel comfortable. The thought of anything harming our child was just too much for him to endure.

As ‘luck’ and Murphy’s Law would have it, in my second trimester I had a super charged sex libido. I can’t ever remember being so randy and on the spot ready for sex and had to suffer five months of ‘blue balls’. Made me realize what some men must feel like.

I’m thrilled to announce this second pregnancy is absolutely normal. That said, it’s made me stop to wonder why any woman would want to have sex during her first trimester. I appreciate that every woman’s first trimester symptoms and situation is different…but come on.

I had two weeks of misery where I couldn’t get off the couch because I was just too sick. There was the constant low level hum of nausea which would unexpectedly erupt into a dash to the toilet. Besides my miserable constipation, (which goes under too much information, but is NEVER a concern for me) I’m really flatulent. The extreme fatigue had me crawling into bed, begging for mercy at precisely 8:30 after I put my son to bed. Did I mention the crazy mood swings that make PMS look like a walk in the park?

What about any of this is remotely speaks to the desire for hot sweaty sex? Or any kind of sex. After this experience, I don’t even think this warrants a “take one for the team sex” once or twice a month just to keep up the habit. I wouldn’t expect someone to have sex during a terrible flu so why during the first trimester?

Luckily, I’m into my second trimester and feel much better. I’m really, really, really hoping I get the super charge sex libido back again as both me and my husband aren’t so freaked out and sex is on the pregnancy menu. Yipee.

I’ll let you know in future blogs.

Just as a side note, I’m lucky enough to work at home. The few times I had to rush out the door in the morning with everyone in tow was an exercise in absolute misery. How working outside the home mom’s manage in their first trimester is beyond me. Kudos to you.

Filed under: Fabulous Guest Bloggers, Just Venting, Sex