Do I suck as a mother?

Posted on October 30th, 2008 by Allison

Well, with all the time and energy and subconscious angst I have devoted to not being like my own mom, I think I have created a monster  (myself) who sucks in her own new and unique way.

Sometimes, on a particularly bad-feeling-sorry-for-myself day, I start to list all the ways I don’t ”fit the bill” as a mom:

  • I don’t bake
  • I kind of suck at cooking, actually I don’t suck, I just don’t enjoy it anymore…at all
  • I’m apparently the only mom at work while the rest are making Xerox copies or monitoring the cafeteria in the kids’ school
  • I have no artistic ability and am not a go-to person for any kind of craft, sewing or home DIY project
  • I am not that good at policing my mouth when someone cuts me off on the road or annoys me in some other way (with kids in the backseat)
  • Patience — not my strong suit
  • When faced with making a choice between watching TV and doing something active outside, I choose the couch potato option every time
  • Not the calmest and least panicked person in an emergency situation
  • Apparently, my house is one of the most boring among possible playdate hosts (according to my two kids)

There’s more, but isn’t that enough? Verdict is in: I suck!

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Filed under: humor for women, working mothers

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One Response to “Do I suck as a mother?”

  1. Susan Greene, on November 17th, 2008 at 2:12 pm Said:

    Allison,

    I just want you to know that you are not alone in your suckiness. I too, suck as a mom:

    * I don’t make my kids’ Halloween costumes.

    * I am incapable of helping them with math homework.

    * I won’t let my daughter wear boy clothes to school even though she thinks they will make her look cool.

    * I once cooked a big roaster chicken for Thanksgiving and tried to convince my family it was turkey because I didn’t want to spend the time figuring out how to cook a real turkey.

    * I steal chocolate from the childrens’ Easter baskets while my kids are in school.

    * I “ruin” every family activity by taking dozens of photos of the event.

    * I mess up the tv remote every time I touch it.

    * I don’t allow one-word answers to questions like “What’d you do today at school?”.

    I could go on, but I think you get the idea. Allison, do you feel better now?

    Susan :)

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