Underdog: Indignities at the Swings

Lately, I’m all about taking back my life from the irresistible, wild-blue yonder that is social media. From Facebook to Twitter and everything in between, I have GOT to get a grip and re-engage more fully with the lovely people in my “real” life when I’m not working.

So the other day, I herded the girls outside to the swingset for some fresh air before dinner (pointedly leaving my iPhone inside, sad and alone on the ktichen counter). Once I got both girls swinging, my six-year-old begged for an Underdog.

Swinging on a better day.

Swinging on a better day.

Now. Everyone knows that, for maximum effect and thrill, a true Underdog requires that the pusher, upon delivering a mighty push, must run directly underneath the swinger and emerge victoriously on the other side. If you don’t, you’re just a dirty cheater and it’s not a real Underdog.

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Divorced Stuff-Is it Haunted?

My sister and her husband were divorced over five years ago.  Somehow, amidst the chaos of several moves, I ended up with her wedding portraits.

“What should I do with these?” I asked her.

“I don’t know.  I just can’t even look at them right now,” she said.

“They take up a lot of room.  Should I just throw them away?”

“The frames were pretty expensive,” she tells me.

At this point I’m ambivalent myself.  I could care less about the marriage but I would feel weird about throwing away the few happy portraits my niece and nephew would ever have of their parents together.  So I decided to store them away where they were out of plain view and ponder this decision another time.

Ok, it’s another time right now. 

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Ready or Not, Here Comes Baby!

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Is hairiness really close to godliness?

When I was 25, I bought a self-waxer from the Sears catalogue. Like clock work, every two weeks I would drag out the waxer and go about dehairing my body.

About two years ago, Sears stopped carrying the units of wax that fit into that specific waxer model. Scrambling, I tried a bevy of over-the-counter dehairing alternatives but nothing worked all that well. I was forced to default to shaving.

Shaving worked well enough, that is until I was in my last trimester of pregnancy. Because of my round belly, I could neither bend over nor see the massive amount of hair growing on my nether regions. Hair problem was relegated to the category of: out of sight, out of mind.

That is until six months after giving birth…I had whipped into the shower and coming out, I glanced in the mirror and noticed a massive afro of hair where there used to be a perfectly coifed Brazillian. I looked down even further and there were two hairy mammoth legs.

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The Secret

I took my daughter to the dentist recently. While we waited, I took out my book and she did her thing. Though engrossed in the story I was reading, I was suddenly captivated by a strange and beautiful occurrence.

 There was my seven year old straightening up the waiting room. She was sitting on the floor, sorting through the magazines that had been carelessly strewn on the cheap wicker coffee table. She was putting them back into two neat piles. She worked quietly and with focus.

 I flashbacked to our coffee table at home which she has taken over with her containers of crayons, pens, and pencils, coloring books, Highlights, and journals. It is always a mess, and she rarely makes a move to organize it. If she does clean up, it is usually at my request, under protest, followed by reluctant acquiescence.

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Turn your inner critic into your biggest fan

Who is that voice talking in your head? You know who I am talking about. The one that says things to you that no one else dare say. The one that ignores your triumphs and accomplishments and nitpicks every little thing you do wrong. You don’t need to live with the constant nagging and criticism. You can change all that.

Your mood is a byproduct of your thoughts and thought process not the other way around. If you are feeling down or in a bad mood you can mask the symptoms by taking something to improve your mood or you can attack your mood at the source – your thoughts. This can appear to be difficult because we are so use to hearing the play-by-play commentary from our inner critic.

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