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&*@# Ikea . . .

I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with Ikea, the build-it-yourself furniture superstore. One the one hand, even before the recession I appreciated a bargain, and I like to think that even if I had $5,000 to spend on an end table, I wouldn’t be so wasteful. Walking through Ikea’s beautiful but maze-like showroom and seeing the ridiculously low prices gives me the same high I got the first time I went to Loehmann’s (back in the day when it was a real outlet with real discounts; heck, I went to the original one in the Bronx, where I fought for mirror space with an entire Mah Jongg club, only to emerge triumphantly with a beautiful lined wool coat for $40). 

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Easy Behavior Modification (yeah, right!)

Usually, I delete those unsolicited emails offering tips on anti-aging superfoods (acai berries! no, tofu!, actually, now it’s quinoa!), positive thinking (”send this to 5 supportive friends, and something amazing will happen in the next 9 minutes!”), and income (”Yes, you can turn your journalling into a 6 figure book contract!”). But one popped up the other day which I couldn’t resist, promising ‘Brand New Ways to Banish Bad Behavior for Good!’ (Come on, the only person who could resist that title is the supermom down the block, you know, the one whose perfectly-dressed kids ASK for extra chores and love broccoli, the ones who’ve never heard of Burger King?)
So I read the article, which said that our culture gives kids too much of a sense of entitlement, and the only way to improve their behavior is to teach them gratitude, expressing thanks and by noticing small blessings. (This is brand new?) I can just see some harried mom, pulled over for speeding with 2 screaming kids in the car, doing her deep breathing and saying, “Justin, Ashleigh, let’s say thank you to the nice officer for doing his part for our community.” Or a frazzled mom breaking up a fight with “Boys, tell each other how grateful you are that this time neither of you actually drew blood.”
I mean, come on. Kids act up, no matter what we do, and you can read 5,000 articles with tips on influencing their behavior, and have the exact same results. I’ve tried the gratitude thing - we say grace before meals by having each family member say two things he or she is grateful for. Usually I get a sullen, “I’m grateful for, food and family, um, do I HAVE to eat the tuna casserole?” Or the boys use the ritual as an excuse for pushing an agenda: “I’m grateful mom MIGHT let me stay up and watch Family Guy, and I’m grateful that Ben isn’t been as annoying as he usually is.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for trying to limit this entitlement thing, where kids feel the world revolves around them. I give them regular chores, I’m sticking with being (in their opinion) the meanest mom in the world because we only have one television set in the house, and I not only make them do their own homework, I have never yet referred to a school project in the first person plural. (You know, “WE got a bad grade on the science experiment . . . “) But beyond that, I guess I sort of feel like bad behavior is part of childhood, and part of what we get to make them feel guilty for when they’re grown. 
Besides, if there really were brand new, fail-safe strategies for making kids behave perfectly, there wouldn’t be such a proliferation of articles and web tips and emails advising us - the articles don’t really help, but they do provide outside work for a whole bunch of moms who are probably thrilled to have something to do besides trying to make their own kids behave!
As far as I’m considered, my strategy for dealing with my kids’ unpleasant behavior is

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Keep Your Friends Close and Your Stapler Closer

Katrina Carefoot, Mabel BlogHer correspondent, from Fickle Feline, is guest blogging while Julie recovers from the birth of her 6th baby - welcome Finian Aloysius!  Julie will be back next week (talk about a whirlwind maternity leave!).

I probably shouldn’t admit this in such a public forum, but I have a thing for office supplies.  Meaning, I fancy really nice, top notch pens, rulers, paper, notepads, mechanical pencils, paper clips, scissors and staplers.  If my work doesn’t happen to supply my preferred brand of a specific office product, I will bring my own from home.  Yes, I’m that particular, specifically about my stapler.  But my stapler - it isn’t just any stapler.  It has a special history.  It is a burgundy, Swingline stapler.  And how do I say this nicely?  No, you CANNOT borrow my stapler.  Uhh…I mean, of course you can borrow my stapler, just please be sure to bring it back to me when you are finished.  And be gentle with it, it was a gift.  A Valentine’s Day gift.  Specifically, my first Valentine’s gift from my husband after we got married.  But, you know, no pressure.  However, be aware that if you scratch it, dent it, or ding it, I will never speak to you again.  Otherwise, we’re cool.  There is also the fact that it matches my Blackberry Curve perfectly.  I know…that’s just crazy talk, I mean, who accessorizes their office equipment?  Probably the same type of person who labels it…

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Who would want sex during the first trimester?

I’m fourteen weeks pregnant with my second child—my son is 19 months old. Absolutely excited of course; at the same time a bit bummed as my husband and I had just got our sex life back into a good place and now it will be, once again, erratic for the next two years.

My first pregnancy came after ten miscarriages. As such for the first semester I was considered a high risk pregnancy and we weren’t allowed to have sex. More so, I was so completely freaked out about the baby ‘sticking’ that sex was the last thing my mind.

Once or twice I remember thinking, “Who would want to have sex while going through all of this morning sickness, first trimester crap?”; grateful sex wasn’t allowed.

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Shedding the Mommy Uniform

Katrina Carefoot, Mabel BlogHer correspondent, from Fickle Feline, is guest blogging for the next two weeks while Julie recovers from the birth of her 6th baby - welcome Finian Aloysius!
 
Blink. Is it over already?

After spending the past year on maternity leave with baby #2, I’m heading back to the corporate world tomorrow and shedding the mommy uniform (at least between the hours of 9 and 5). To be honest, I haven’t let myself think too much about the fact that I’m going back to the working mom role. Up until this past week I was operating business as usual, my days were filled with taking care of my baby girl, shuttling my Autistic son, Max, to therapy, doctor’s appointments, and assessments, and trying to keep our household running as smoothly as possible. So, as usual, the dishes were overflowing from the sink, we were all out of clean socks and underwear, and emergency calls were being placed to my husband for him to pick up milk on the way home.

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Welcome Finian!

fin

It is with great excitement that Julie Cole and “daddy-o” welcome their sixth beautiful child into this world, proving that six c-sections is possible!

It’s a boy!

Name: Finian
Weight: 7lbs 6oz.

The sibling team of brothers Maginnis and Clancy, and sisters Posy, Spencer and Jessamy are delighted with their new brother!

And of course, everyone at Mabel’s Labels is thrilled to have a new little Mabel baby to spoil!

Big thanks to all who have followed this pregnancy with interest and care. It has been fun sharing it with you. Now, let the real games begin!!

Enjoy guest blogger, Katrina Carefoot for the next couple of weeks and Julie will be back on the blogging board very soon!

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